Guinea Pig
by Kokolo
Summary: After his beloved Stripe passes away, Craig actually finds himself depressed and upset without anything to care for. That is, until Tweek displays how helpless and needy he can be. - Light Creek -
1. Chapter 1

**First chapter makes me a happy author : ) Just a word of warning - I have no idea how long this is going to go for but it's going to involve light Creek from where it stands now. Please enjoy :D**  


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Craig was in no goddamn mood to deal with any of this shit today.

A few days ago, he would have tolerated at least a small amount of the monotonous bullshit. The normal amount. He could normally do that. But not today. Not since… he bit back a whimper, choking it into a bored sigh. He shut his eyes and tried not to think of the little flat nose, the soft fur, the deep black eyes blinking up at him at the commercial breaks when they watched Red Racer…

So now he sat, hunched over his desk, counting the blurred flecks of the tabletop. What else could he do? There was nothing else _to_ do. He was so damned used to this system that he had constructed, so used to the give and take that he suddenly found himself flailing around once he was free of it. He had a routine, damnit, and now that was all shot to hell. If there was ever a time he needed to talk to Stripe…

"Dude!" Clyde nearly screamed into his ear, physically wrenching Craig's face up off the desk. Had it been anyone else, they'd be suffering from broken face, but Clyde had dealt with Craig's shit long enough to build up some sort of immunity. Still, Craig flipped him off.

"Listen man, I know you're all for this brooding quiet guy shit but what the fuck?" The brunette huffed, dropping his head with a thud. "It's getting ridiculous."

Craig remained silent, blinking past the brief pain in his head. It was dull compared to the one in his chest (if that didn't make him sound like the whiniest bitch faggot then nothing would). He just couldn't get it out of his head. He had come home like any other day and walked in, greeting his rodent pet affectionately by tapping the cage, like always. The little guy was old now – he needed a lot more rest, and Craig would normally leave him be… but Red Racer was going to be on in a few minutes and Stripe got mad at him the last time he let him sleep through an episode. So he tapped on the cage again and again…

"Man, are you still goin on 'bout that Guinea pig?" Token asked, taking his normal seat behind Craig.  
"He is."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah. It's been like a week."  
"Didn't that thing live for like twelve years?"  
"His name was Stripe." Craig interjected, his voice muffled by desk.

The other boys fell silent, watching their blue-clad friend quietly. They glanced at each other before looking back at the unmoving Craig. Token cleared his throat and reached out to pat Craig's shoulder comfortingly.

"Hey, man. It'll be okay." He offered, shrugging off his friend's glare and middle finger "Its gonna get better."  
"Yeah. Look, that guy lived a long goddamn life. He should've been dead ages ago." Clyde paused; realizing that he probably wasn't helping "Why don't you get another one?"  
"Yeah, another one would, you know, speed the healing process or something."  
"Exactly. Why not?"  
"Because it's not fucking Stripe that's why!"  
"Oh sweet Jesus!"

Craig opened his eyes. He was standing, his hand balled into fists and currently digging into the top of his desk. He didn't know when he got up or why he was shouting, but he didn't really care too much. The flash of passionate rage had vanished for the moment. Not a lot of people saw, and he flipped off the ones that did. Hey knew better than to stare. He turned his attention to the other source of noise, twitching about and shivering on the floor. Tweek peered up at Craig, jerking a bit when he was nonchalantly flipped off. He gathered up his books and got off the ground, putting them hastily on his desk, checking to make sure it wouldn't collapse.

Craig sighed and sat back down, ignoring Tweek's jittery good morning. He wasn't in the mood to deal with this shit. Not today. With another dull thud, Craig let his head fall back onto the desk and grunted. Though it made him twitch in discomfort, it didn't stop Tweek from looking nervously between the two other boys, asking them what was up, seeing as how Craig had removed himself. Token, having some form of mature tact, dragged them away from the quiet male and started up the conversation a few rows over.

"His guinea pig, dude." Clude muttered, trying to keep his voice low "He died like almost week ago."  
"Oh." Tweek twitched "Oh God did he come back from the grave-"  
"No Tweek."  
"Oh shit it's going to eat him! It's after his blood!"  
"No you spaz! Craig's just messed up." Token growled, lightly cuffing him upside the head "He's depressed." Clyde elaborated.  
"Oh sweet Jesus he's going to go Goth and slice open his wrists and he'll die!"  
"No, fucknut." Clyde deadpanned, being much less gentle when he cuffed the shaky blond "He's just sad for a little while. Give him some space. God knows he won't be able to fucking tolerate you now."

Tweek spazzed and jerked, walking back to his chair. Token changed the subject to something about sports, Clyde chiming in every once in a while. Tweek kept quiet, Clyde's instructions turning over in his head. Leave Craig alone? For how long? Why couldn't he help? They'd gotten to be pretty alright friends, even if he twitched a lot. Craig never seemed to mind. He minded less than Clyde and Token, actually. But it was probably the twitching. Craig looked so damn sad he didn't need more terrible making it worse. But he wanted to help!

Whimpering, Tweek pulled at his yellow hair and flicked his gaze between the chalkboard and Craig constantly. Not once during the lesson did he move, only stirring once the bell rang for next class. Tweek wanted to follow him, but Craig didn't even wait for Clyde. He always waited for Clyde at least. Oh God this was really bad, wasn't it? The blond boy twitched and whined in panic, chewing at his fingernails. He made a desperate grab for his coffee, sucking down half the contents without even trying. It calmed him for a split second, but he was still confused and lost and afraid Craig was going to do what Stan did back in elementary and go Goth and end up all sad and depressed and jump off a bridge-

"Tweek?"  
"Augh!"  
"Tweek?" Craig repeated, his voice kind of quiet and… off sounding. Tweek twitched.  
"W-What is it?"  
"Your hand is bleeding."  
"Oh Jesus!"

Craig had grabbed up his hand before Tweek could fist it in his tangled hair. He examined the chewed nails idly, wiping away some of the blood. The blond twitched and whimpered sniffling a little bit. He was going to bleed out and die and or get gangrene or lupus and be crippled forever!

"Acchk!"  
"Calm the fuck down." Craig muttered lazily, wrapping a piece of tissue around it. "You're fine."  
"Uhgn?" He shivered and withdrew his hand, looking dumbly at the bit of paper "O-Oh… Th-Thank you Craig. Urk!"

The blue-hatted boy half smiled, watching Tweek dive right back to his thermos. The spazzy little blond sighed happily after he finished his drink, his twitches subsiding a little bit while he bathed in caffeinated bliss. He noticed Craig still standing there, and he jerked a bit, eye twitching. He offered the other teen a small, lopsided, quivering little smile.

And for some reason, that made Craig feel better than he had all week.  


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**Let me know what you think so far if you are so inclined :) Have a good day.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you everyone for the feedback so far. It makes me :D**  
**Yes, I bring you a second chapter. Already! I know- it's so weird! It probably won't happen again but you guys so awesome (and the first chapter was shortish) so I bring you a bonus update in a week! Just as a reminder, this will be updated on Fridays, as will be **_I Know Why the Jailed Bird Sings_**.**  
**Enjoy~**

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Craig lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. It had been two hours since his mom had come in and flipped him off, telling him to go to bed already. But he couldn't. So what if he'd be fucking exhausted in the morning? He'd deal.

He rolled over and looked at the wall, blinking tiredly. He didn't even bother to change out of his day clothes, with the exception of his hat, which was currently sitting on his nightstand. He touched the top of his bare head self consciously, messing up his hair a bit. He just couldn't seem to focus on anything for more than five minutes. Well, anything aside from Stripe.

Without meaning to, Craig glanced over to where the guinea pig's cage used to lie. After the first night he hadn't been able to stand the sight of it, and though it killed inside him he managed to get it into the basement. He still couldn't believe it. He knew it had been a ridiculously long time and Clyde was right that it should hade died fucking years ago but that didn't stop it from hurting. Twelve years was a long goddamn time, and when you're only seventeen that makes up a fucking majority. Craig had every right to be pissed off and upset. It didn't make him a pussy or anything. Even if he did kind of start bawling when he realized…

Craig snorted and rolled over, facing the corner of his room. He wasn't angry, just a little peeved. He understood Stripe was old and he couldn't last forever, but he felt like there should have been something he could have done. He could have been there at least – poor Stripe was already stiff and cold when he got home. Nobody had noticed him – shit he hadn't even noticed if Stripe was alive when he left for school that morning. He didn't have the time to do more than spit a quick goodbye before he ran off and-

He groaned and rolled onto his stomach, burying his face in his pillow. He was not going to cry. He was not going to cry again goddamnit. Not any more. The first day was fine; dragging it on for a week was just being a pussy bitch about it. He could be moody all he fucking wanted, but he was not going to fucking cry. Not again.

When he was sure the feeling had passed he lifted his head and rolled back onto his back, looking up at the ceiling again. He really needed to repaint or something. He'd thrown shit on the second day, some of it left dents. Craig sighed and told himself he'd deal with it later. Maybe. Right now he let his mind wander between school and summer and shit he needed to get done and that annoying buzz in his pocket. He yawned; fishing his phone out and watching it vibrate in his palm. It was late. He should ignore it. But if it would keep his mind occupied…

"Hello?"  
"Ahhagk!"  
"Tweek. It's three in the morning."  
"Gnomes! They're coming!"  
"How much coffee have you had in the past twenty minutes?"  
"…Not a lot. No more than usual. Oh God please help me!"  
"Tweek- there are no gnomes. I've watched out for them seven times and nothing happened."  
"They're afraid of you! Come over and help me!"  
"It's three in the morning." Craig repeated, "How the hell am I going to get in?"  
"Please!"

Craig sighed and rubbed his eyes, sitting up. He grabbed his hat and tugged it on with one hand, already standing and heading for the door. He really shouldn't be indulging Tweek like this. The last time he did this he couldn't get his sleeping pattern back until summer. But, the way he figured, he was already messed up and probably wouldn't be sleeping, so why not hang out instead of brood like some emo bitch?

"Alright, alright. Fine. Open the downstairs back door and I'll get in as quiet as I can."  
"…But it's dark."  
"It normally is dark at three in the morning. You're up often enough to know that."  
"But what if a robber gets in? Or an ax murderer! He'll chop me into little bits and feast on my internal organs and then the gnomes will take all my underpants and my parents will be so pissed!"  
"Fine. Open the front door and sit in the living room."  
"But light will attract rouge possessed bulldozers that will destroy my house and then I'll be out on the street begging for food and-"  
"The window, then."  
"Vampires!"  
"Tweek I swear to fucking God you open something or I'm staying home and you can beat the gnomes back by your own damn self"  
"…Okay! Okay fine please just…. Nngh- Hurry!"

The line went dead and Craig sighed, glancing at the clock. Three ten on the dot. He had twenty minutes until the gnomes were supposed to show up. This was going to be a long fucking night.

O///////O

Much to his surprise, Tweek had mustered up the courage to run down, unlock his front door, and dash back up the stairs before anything in the shadows grabbed him or he woke his parents by screaming. In all honesty Craig could have broken into the house, but he didn't really feel like dealing with Mr. Tweak's metaphors. He did run into a bit of trouble actually getting into Tweek's room (he had double bolted the door and barricaded it with his dresser, just in case), but Craig did manage to get inside and calm the blond.

Three -Thirty came and past, and the gnomes made no appearances. Craig was mildly pissed – he could be in his own home in his own bed… but then again he wasn't exactly being productive there. Tweek seemed to calm (or at least as calm as he could get) and offered Craig some of his precious coffee stock as payment. Craig thought about refusing, but hell if he was going to get sleep anyway. He took the brief and tried to keep up with the jittery boy. He failed miserably, but he was awake at least.

They sat in amicable silence, Tweek's spasms and their needlessly loud sipping interrupting it periodically. For some reason Craig found this comforting. It was better than being alone, and he'd done this before. He knew how to act and react almost automatically but he had to be awake enough to thump the spazmoid for any new absurd theories. Despite all this Craig smiled a little bit every time Tweek twitched, and looked over his shoulder, hoping nothing was coming up behind him. Before long he was legitimately smiling, which made Tweek jerk and down the rest of his coffee

"You're still- Ack! You're still awake? And happy?"  
"Gotta problem with that?"  
"Not it's –nngerk – It's just that you try to kill me around now and you're smiling it looks like you're planning something oh sweet Jesus please don't snap my neck!"  
"I'm not gonna snap your neck."  
"Urk!"  
"I'm okay."  
"… You're sure?"  
"Yeah. I'm good. Got any more coffee?"

Tweek stared at him, trembling for a moment holding his now empty mug like a lifeline. Craig raised a brow in return, too tired to raise his hand and flip him off. The blond boy twitched and made a distressed noise, finger tapping along the porcelain. In a flash, however, that image was gone, replaced by Tweek full-body tackling him to the bed, spewing unintelligible babble about Goths and suicide and 'ohgodpleasedon'tdoit.' Craig was more than a little confused.

"What the fuck, Tweek?"  
"Don't die! Don't kill yourself!"  
"The fuck is the matter with you? I'm not gonna kill myself. The fuck would I do that for?"  
"But you're so sad and depressed and I don't want you to jump off a bridge and write depressing poetry about ravens! Ravens are diseased! They'll peck your eyes out and then you'll be blind and need a dog that will get rabies and then it'll eat your legs and then you'll be confined to a wheelchair! Aughanngk!"  
"You're fucking insane."

Tweek scrambled back from his hold; leaving a cold ring around Craig's midsection he wasn't too fond of. The jittery boy sat back on his haunches, trembling a little bit, flushed and looking kind of embarrassed. He muttered to himself, something about Clyde and sadness and conspiracy and madhouses. Craig didn't particularly care what it was about, but that look of complete distress and confusion was killing him. It was nice to hear Tweek worried about him, and he did appreciate he didn't go around shooting his mouth off about Stripe. Craig smiled a little bit and he realized he was still kind of cold so he sat up, reached forward, and pulled the protesting boy back into the position he was in before and held him there until he stopped squirming.

"I dunno what you've been hearing." Craig murmured lazily, sliding his hand over Tweek's twitching head "But I ain't suicidal. I'm not jumping off bridges. I'm not smoking with the Goth fags. I'm not writing about fucking birds. So calm the hell down."  
"O-Okay."  
"Good boy."  
"Craig?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Why are you – ack! - petting me?"

Craig paused, glancing down for a moment. Sure enough his hand was stroking the tangled mess of blond. That was odd. He hadn't realized he was doing that. He barely registered any motion, he was just happy to have the warm body. Why _was_ he petting Tweek? Shit, he really had no idea. He just did it. He was doing it. Tweek had stopped shaking so much, and it felt kinda nice…

"You gotta problem with it?" He snapped, trying to save face.  
"…No." Tweek muttered shaking his had against Craig's shirt. He wanted to say 'it feels good', but Craig would stop and punch him and leave him for the gnomes. He twitched and whined in panic.  
"Good." Craig yawned, oblivious to his nervous friends dilemma "Your parents gonna freak if I stay the night?"  
"You're staying the night?"  
"You wanna face the gnomes alone?"  
"Gah!"  
"I'm staying."

Tweek glanced up at Craig, who was staring off out the window, which was pointless because the gnomes _always_ came in through the door. But he was glad Craig was here anyway. The gnomes would still probably rob him blind once Craig was distracted enough but he at least stood a fighting chance with Craig to throw middle fingers and stomp on the stupid little things. Even if Craig missed them completely (everyone always did!) then at least he could be here for moral support. Apathetic as he was, he was pretty good at staying quiet and waiting out a distressing or painful situation.

With all this in mind, Tweek pressed himself a little closer to the bigger male. Craig really was a good friend. No one else had the patients to deal with him in the early morning hours. Even his parents sucked at helping past midnight. He was lucky to know him, and even luckier to have him here now. He felt a few tremors course through him, but he was calmer than he had been in a while, and he cuddled closer to Craig while he was pet and risked shutting his eyes for a minute.

"Thank you."  
"No problem."

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**Seco****nd chapter! More things happened! Let me know if it you love it or hate it! **  
**Have an awesome day :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Another update! I'm good at this.**  
**Again, thanks for all the feedback. You guys are great :D Stuff will start to pick up a bit in the next chapter or so, but this one makes me smile.**

**Enjoy**

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Craig was pissed the fuck off.

He hadn't been this morning. He'd been damned content – almost really fucking happy. He'd slept over Tweek's house without meaning to sleep. He'd had eight cups of coffee – there was no reason he should have slept at all. He didn't care too much, though. He actually slept pretty well. He didn't even really care Tweek was on top of him when he woke up, twitching every so often with his face pressed into his stomach.

Craig had smiled, somehow remembering it was Friday, and watched Tweek sleep off his caffeine. It was kinda funny how good he felt. For the past week he felt like total ass when he opened his eyes. Today was different. With Tweek clinging to him, it was like he was doing something other than existing. Granted, letting a paranoid, ADD, caffeine addled little spaz use your lower half as a body pillow wasn't exactly something he'd want to tell everyone about or even really feel proud for, but hell – he felt better than yesterday. He had closed his eyes and shifted lazily, curling around the calm Tweek, enjoying the morning for a change.

Until he felt a sudden draft…

Oh Craig had raised a kind of hell not seen in the Tweak house before. He was in shock for a few minutes, and his sudden halt of everything must have roused the shaky blond from sleep, so he looked up, groggy and disoriented from sleep he usually didn't get. A half a moment later he was flat on the floor, and Craig was ranting and raving and throwing middle fingers everywhere. It only got worse when Tweek found the note.

_Dear Pussies,_

_This is for getting in our way. Stay out of it. Pussy._

_Love, The Underpants Gnomes_

Craig had thrown a goddamn fit that culminated in him stomping out the front door and flipping off all of the Tweaks and whatever traffic was out on the road at that time. Reflecting on it now, however briefly, it probably wasn't a great idea. Alienating your friend's parents while ranting and fuming was generally seen as bad etiquette, he knew that. But those were his favorite boxers! Those little fuckers were in such deep shit it wasn't even _funny_.

Somewhere along the line (after Craig had gotten home and gotten a change of clothes), Tweek caught up to him. He had babbled apologies and begged for forgiveness for the past hour and a half now, twitching badly. All the calm that Craig had seen him with this morning was gone and replaced with crazy nervousness. It was more than enough to level his anger up from pissed off to fucking furious.

"Shut the fuck up will you?" Craig hissed, turning on his heel, physically blocking the stuttering blonds path "Just shut the fuck up."  
"S-Sor-Sorry Craig." Tweek whimpered miserably, coming to a stop when he ran into Craig's body "I told you! I'm sorry! Oh God- This is all my fault!"  
"No it's not."  
"But you're mad at me!"  
"Because you won't shut the fuck up." He pushed down on Tweek's twitching head, giving him a cross between a hair ruffle and a noogie "So shut up and Ill stop being pissed."  
"…I'm sorry Craig."  
"What did I _just_ say?"  
"Sorry!"

The thin blond twitched badly and nearly cried, staving off his sniffles by taking long gulps from his coffee thermos. Craig calmed down a bit. He didn't want to upset Tweek. It wasn't his fault those little fuckers bothered him or that he got robbed of his skivvies. He couldn't help it. In fact, he kind of felt bad. He thought for years Tweek was using the gnomes as a ploy for attention, but all this time he really needed help and he had been ignored. What a shitty friend he was. But then again, the past was the past, so fuck that. He had enough to feel shitty about.

"Stay over my place tonight." He told Tweek once he had finished drinking "We've got shit to take care of."  
"Nnghk! What? Why? Oh God!"  
"Relax, wouldja?" Craig replied coolly, messing up his already erratic hair "We gotta plan some more. Gonna give those little fuckers what they deserve."  
"But- Argh!- But they're relentless! They'll just take you down too!"  
"Like hell they will."

Before Tweek could protest any further, Craig trotted up to Clyde and Token, leaving him alone with his remaining caffeine. He twitched and groaned. Why did Craig have to get involved? He was already having a bad time- the Gnomes would just make him feel even worse! Oh God this was so bad… but… but he was glad Craig believed him now.

O///////O

Tweek wasn't sure why he was sprawled out on Craig's couch, half on top of said boy and looking at the television. Craig had invited him over to plan to get back at the gnomes, or at least offer him a day of reprieve from underpants snatching. Tweek knew they would follow him here anyway and Craig would just get robbed and then he'd be even angrier with him… but this was nice, for a minute.

Tweek had suffered a particularly bad spasm after Craig's little sister had told him to quit being so damned gay – causing him to fall over and onto Craig's side. Craig, seizing the opportunity, had flipped his sister off and trapped Tweek between his side and the couch, grabbing up the remote. The girl had left but Craig had still not released him, which was fine with Tweek (if not a little strange) provided he could reach his coffee. All in all, with Craig being the bony guy he was, he made a pretty good pillow. Thinking about it now, Tweek was pretty sure he hadn't slept nearly as well as he had last night in a long time. Not since that one guy read A Farewell to Arms and diagnosed everyone with ADD.

The blond took a few heavy sips from his coffee and jerked, looking up at Craig. He seemed content enough, focusing on the screen. It seemed like Craig had forgotten his own plan, but before Tweek could ask Craig said 'Red Racer's on' and made him shut up. Tweek took another drink and blinked a few times. He honestly couldn't see why Craig liked this show so much. He'd been watching it forever – he eve had the poster still hung up in his room. Maybe there was some sort of mind control or subliminal message. Oh God – was it the Crab people? They were taking over cartoons now?!

Craig rested his hand on top of Tweeks head, unintentionally combing out the unkempt hair. The little bond was oddly complacent even if he was twitching a lot more for some reason. He was probably almost out of coffee. The show was almost over – he'd get some more for Tweek once it was over. He just couldn't move right now. It was so… relaxing. Red Racer had been around since he was just a little tyke. He was honestly beginning to think Red Racer had a therapeutic quality and that he should be paying for it. It had been there forever just like this warmth in his side. His earliest memory was watching this – or his fourth birthday. He wasn't sure which. Anyway, it was just really nice to have a halfway normal school day and after school day. He felt like he should be remembering something that he had to do – but the episode was almost over. Just another minute the credits would roll. Damn, he hated it when it ended on a cliffhanger like this. But it would be ended tomorrow, he was sure. It would be awesome, as always. The credits rolled and he pressed his face into the soft hair and kissed the furry little head smiling into the little twitchy mass.

…Twitchy?

Craig sat up, blinking a few times. Oh… oh shit. He hadn't meant to do that. He just got so relaxed and it seemed so normal and right – not like he was gay and liked kissing dudes right. It just felt like old times. Like Stripe was watching. It was _just_ like Stripe watching with him and fidgeting like he always did. The cliffhangers made him pissed – he got mad when they ended on an edge like that. God he was terrible when it came to season breaks. It was almost funny how he would squeak-

"Craig?"

Fuck.

"Yeah?" He asked, hoping that Tweek was just panicking from lack of coffee.  
"What- gack!- Uh… what just hap-"  
"We need to get to planning." Craig interrupted, rubbing his face a bit as he sat up, releasing Tweek from his side "I'll get more coffee"  
"But- nngghk!- wait, what about-"  
"I'll meet you upstairs."

Craig fled into the kitchen, hiding his face. He'd screwed up- he'd admit it. Not to Tweek's face, but he did know he fucked up pretty bad. Tweek probably thought he was hallucinating. He'd get him coffee and he'd feel better and tell him how the gnomes worked. He'd remain calm – that was simple enough. He could trick Tweek. It was just a simple screw up. Even if he did remember… even if he did, then it was no big deal. It was an accident. Like Tweek would care. Would he? No, of course not. He was just thinking too much. Thinking around Tweek would only make him go insane. He needed to just let shit happen.

Besides, he had littler problems to deal with.

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**Aw. Mush!Craig makes another appearance. D'aww.**

**Thanks for reading :D Review if so inclined and have a great day!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Updates! Yay!  
It's slightly longer than the others - and more stuff happens, so yay! I'd like to say this is a bit of a turning point story wise, but I'm not going to spoil anything.**

**Enjoy**

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After three hours and thirty cups of coffee between them (three for Craig twenty seven for Tweek), they still had nothing. Neither had any idea how to even begin to fight or even confront the tiny terrors. Craig, not being part of Stan and those guys, wasn't all that familiar with confronting terrible and potentially fatal situations involving magical creatures. Well, aside from that one pan flute thing… but that was those guys again. Fuck those guys. Tweek, on the other hand, having dealt these gnomes all his life, was too traumatized to starting thinking up a proper set of ideas past 'gah!'

Craig, though partially pissed off, wasn't too angry. The way he saw it he had time before shit went down. He'd like to get it done and over with sooner rather than later, but he could chill for a while. Tweek was pretty cool to hang out with, even if he spazzed out constantly and was drinking all the damned coffee. He wondered if he was still feeling all wierded out about what he did on the couch. Craig risked glancing up, locked eyes with the jittery boy, and quickly looked back down. Yep. Still weirded out.

He snorted and rolled over onto his side, flipping Tweek off for no particular reason. He really did need to come up with a plan soon. Or at least before he had to go and fetch more coffee for the rest of the house. By the halfway sated look on Tweek's face, that might have to be soon.

"Got any ideas yet?"  
"N-no."

Well, it was worth a shot. Craig rolled back onto his stomach, tapping his pencil on the paper. He wasn't good at this crap. It wasn't his fault he lived in South Park where all this crazy shit happened. It wasn't ever his fault and he never did anything to stop or cause any of this fucking weird shit that went down. That was Stan and those guys. All the damn time. Jesus tap-dancing Christ. He had no idea how to even begin.

Tweek whimpered, turning the cup upside down and shaking it. Nothing came out. To add to the pathetic display, the skinny blond turned his eyes up and whimpered; giving Craig the best near-tears puppy dog eyes he'd ever seen since Stripe heard Red Racer was almost canceled. Then again, Craig had almost cried too.

"Lemme guess. You want some coffee?"  
"Pluh- Please. Gack!"  
"I think you drank me dry." Tweek panicked, twitching violently while Craig momentarily reflected on how fucking gay that was "Relax. I'll get more. What kind do you like?"  
"Uh- ack! Too much pressure! All of it! Anything!"  
"Are you going to come with me?"  
"I'll stay here- urk – I hate supermarkets! Too many things! Too much pressure!"

Craig sat up, looking at the twitching boy. Tweek was just going to let him be alone, huh? Fine. No skin off his nose. Just needed the little bastard to pay his share. But… why wasn't he coming? Tweek needed to get out more. It wasn't that Craig didn't want to be alone for the first time in two or three days. Not at all. It was that Tweek needed to get over his stupid fears and pick out his own damned coffee. That was it. He wasn't getting pissed over being abandoned. Fuck that.

"Fine." Craig muttered, trying to sound less bitter, "Face the gnomes alone."  
"Nnghk!"

Tweek shot up and launched himself toward Craig's middle, knocking him back down to the floor. Craig sighed and ruffled the messy blond hair, letting him spasm before pushing him away by his forehead. Tweek jerked and sat back on his knees, shaking a bit and chewing his lip. Craig sat back up and got to his feet, brushing off his shirt like nothing had just happened.

"Don't leave me here!"  
"I won't."  
"Plea- what?"  
"I said I wouldn't now get up we're going."

The petite blond scrambled to his feet, nearly bowling Craig over again. He latched onto the offered arm, twitched a few times, and righted himself. Craig sighed and rolled his shoulders, heading out, leading the spastic Tweek out into the outside world.

O///////O

Midnight, on the dot. They had found the closest convenience store still open late Friday and more or less robbed them of all their coffee. The guy at the counter was high out of his mind on cough syrup or pot, Craig wasn't sure, and he didn't particularly care. He was too focused on keeping Tweek from knocking shit over or having a panic attack. Craig brought the shaky thing a jumbo cup of coffee to hold him over until he could finish paying. Surprisingly, it lasted until about halfway home, and even more surprisingly Tweek managed to keep quiet until they were on his property. Of course, he made a mad dash to the coffee pot and nearly ate the grounds in anticipation the second he was let inside, but he had refrained for a good five minutes. Craig appreciated that.

They were back in his room now, sitting in front of some papers and pencils and empty paper coffee cups. It was getting late, but Craig wasn't tired. He was determined to get something done. He had no idea what, but he had to think of something. His attention was waning fast, however. Tweek seemed less than capable of thinking at the moment – caught somewhere between nervous apprehension and caffeine-addled bliss. Craig was borderline happy to see him at least partially complacent.

After about an hour of mostly silence Craig gave up and crawled over to his bed. Tweek watched him, but didn't say anything. Instead he scooted so his back was flush with the side of Craig's mattress, and nervously sipped his coffee there. Craig watched him with mild disinterest, shutting his eyes for a moment. He wouldn't sleep. He had had too much coffee to sleep. He didn't need it, anyway. It was technically Saturday now. He had the weekend to do nothing but catch up.

Tweek made a few whimpering shriek noises and Craig opened his eyes, staring over the erratic yellow hair. Instinctively he reached out and attempted to smooth it down. For some reason he felt kind of tired, which was fucking stupid 'cause he just finished telling himself he'd never get to sleep ever with all the caffeine replacing his blood. But whatever. If you could look over or comb out all the knots his hair was pretty soft. Something about it remind Craig of Stripe's fur. He briefly hated himself for making the comparison, linking it to his earlier fag move, but Tweek wouldn't know. It was just a slip up. He needed to stop being so preoccupied with his late pet. This was just getting weird. Shut up. No it wasn't. He could still mourn a friend he had for twelve years –

"Craig?" Tweek squeaked, cutting through Craig's haze of thought.  
"What?"  
"Yo-you're petting me again."  
"Mhmm. S'matter?" Craig muttered, half asleep but still petting him "Afraid I'm gonna give you a noogie or something?"  
"N-No… I." Tweek swallowed and shuddered a little "I… I trust you."  
"You what?"  
"I trust you"

This made Craig stop for a moment. Something… just something about those words struck him. Bothered him. A lot. A lot more than they should have. There was just something about it that bore into his brain and refused to let the fuck go. For some reason… Craig lifted himself up on his arms and dragged himself over to the edge of the bed, peering over Tweek's shoulder and at his face. Tweek 'ack!'ed and trembled, but stayed put, eyes flitting nervously between him and the door and his coffee. There it was. That look. The same one Stripe gave him. Nervous and twitchy as all hell but still trusting enough to make him stay put. Why was he comparing his friend to a dead guinea pig? Furthermore, why was he shaking and feeling like he was going to choke on nothing?

Crag hiccupped into Tweek's shoulder, letting out a shuddering breath even though he tried so damn hard to keep it bottled up. There was no way this was happening. This was humiliating – even if it was only Tweek here. Why the fuck was that getting to him – just three stupid fucking words. They shouldn't mean anything. He knew that already. He knew Tweek trusted him. Why did it change so much to hear it out loud or see it in his face? It shouldn't- why did it, why couldn't he get the fuck over it? It didn't make any fucking sense! This was worse than his damned preoccupation with Stripe! Jesus Christ, why was he going so fucking soft? Why was he crying? Fuck, what was the matter with him?!

"C-Craig?"  
"Shut the fuck up" He choked, gripping the loose shirt "Jus- just shut the fuck up."

O///////O

Tweek was phenomenally confused.

He had only said he trusted Craig. He did. Craig was going to help him fight the gnomes, or at least get them off his back. Craig believed him about the gnomes now. They were friends. What about that didn't somehow equal a tiny bit of trust? Okay, so he was a bit (very) jittery and more often than not expected the worst to happen at every given moment. Sure he and Craig had gotten into an all-out smack-down fight in the third grade. That was behind them. Maybe. Craig was acting really weird. Was this all because of Stripe? Was he possessed? Oh sweet Jesus he couldn't handle this!

Tweek whined and tried very hard to keep from twitching. Craig had fallen asleep on his shoulder, sobbing quietly and gripping his shirt like a lifeline. Tweek didn't have the heart (or the balls) to move him, even though he had exhausted himself and probably wouldn't be awake enough to even flip off an offending gnome. That was okay. Tweek wasn't sure if they knew where Craig lived, so they should be safe. Maybe. Urk! Needed more coffee. At least it was within arms reach.

Despite all this craziness and his rampant fears, Tweek almost smiled. He didn't think Craig would ever trust him enough to fall asleep on him, much less have a nervous breakdown on his shoulder. It was kind of flattering now that he thought about it. Craig could have punched him or tossed him out on his ass in the snow but he didn't… he cried. He honest to God cried, right there on his shoulder. Tweek believed vehemently in underpants gnomes and various supernatural things hell bend on causing him suffering, but he never in a million years thought he would be witness to Craig Tucker crying.

He still worried, however. Craig had cried. Why? Was it Stripe or something more? Was he telling the truth about not becoming emo? What if he _was _possessed? What if the gnomes already took all his underpants? Oh God, Tweek had brought this on him. And even if he hadn't, there was something seriously wrong with what happened a mere two hours ago. Would Craig remember? Would Craig kill him if he woke up and found out where he was and what he was doing? But his ass was kind of going numb, and his shoulder was wet with tears and drool. He had to move Craig sooner or later. Just a little.

Tweek shivered and shifted the slightest bit, trying to haul Craig off his shoulder. Craig was by no means big or beefy. He was an athletic kind of skinny with the gangly chicken legs to prove it. Tweek, on the other hand was a stick, the kind of thin Clyde joked that could easily be broken in half over even a kindergarteners knee. Still, he tried, being extra careful not to drop him or touch any part of Craig not already covered by clothing. He was rewarded with a free shoulder and the feeling coming back into his butt.

But then Craig rolled over, taking the skinny boy with him, pinning him under his arm and some of his torso, sleeping soundly as ever. Tweek had to bite his hand to keep from screaming.

Once Tweek had gotten his breathing and heart beat back down to its normal erratic levels, he risked looking at Craig's face again. He seemed calm enough, breathing in and out like a normal human. His face was a bit red and had some tearstains, but Tweek figured those were there anyway even if he hadn't exactly looked at Craig while he cried. For some ungodly reason Tweek reached up, nearly brushing them away before he twitched and yanked his arm back. Was he insane?!

Craig mumbled something and bowed his head having it come to rest far too close to Tweek's forehead for him to remember how to breath properly. The blond shook, trying not to think and trying not to shake too much so he wouldn't wake the sleeping boy. A particularly bad spasm shook him, however, and he shifted toward Craig, bringing their foreheads together. For a split second, he froze, holding his breath, hoping that he wouldn't wake. Seeing nothing happen, Tweek let a shaky breath escape, watching Craig's face.

He was almost smiling.

* * *

**Aw. **  
**I am such a sucker for mush!Craig I can't even stand myself sometimes.**

**Thanks for reading. Review if you'd like and have a great day!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Short chapter again - more of a heart-to-heart than action-packed gnome fighting (they'll show up I promise).**

**Enjoy**

* * *

When Craig woke up that morning, he wasn't prepared to see ever blinking, every twitching eyes staring right at him.

So he punched Tweek.

Not hard, but enough to make him scream and catapult into the nearest wall and babble apologies. Craig 's brain couldn't keep up with his hyperactive chatter so he just flipped Tweek off and rolled over, clutching his pillow. He tried in vain to get his sleep back. When that failed (Tweek would _not_ shut the fuck up), Craig opened the eye not blocked by pillow, eyeing the clock. Seven thirty. What an ungodly hour of the morning on a Saturday.

Craig rolled over, facing the babbling Tweek. He watched him with mild fascination for a few moments, getting up on his elbows. Tweek apparently didn't get the hint, regardless of how many middle fingers he showed the paranoid little thing. That fast-paced chatter was really starting to piss him off so he grabbed the petite blond and pulled him back onto the bed, pinning him under his weight. Tweek froze, then twitched violently until Craig punched him again.

"Shaddup and relax." Craig muttered.  
"Urk- Nnnighk- Oh sweet Jesus!"

Craig didn't pay him any mind, his hand finding a comfortable spot in Tweek's hair. It should bother him that he was getting so used to this, but fuck that. Craig shut his eyes again, the panicky boy still twitching in his arms. He had calmed a little, even went so far as to carefully place his hands on his shoulders. Craig thought for a moment Tweek was trying to push him off, but instead he was gripping his coat. Oh. Shit he forgot to change into pajamas again. Whatever. He could deal and so would Tweek. He'd worry about it at a decent hour. Like noon.

"C-Craig?" Tweek stuttered after having finally been quiet for more than a minute.  
"Oh for the love of God- what?"  
"I… Uh I… a-are you alright?"  
"Fine."

Tweek knew it was probably a good idea to shut the fuck up so he did. He still twitched and held onto his coat, but he kept relatively in place. He needed coffee. It had been a whole five hours. Huh. Funny. He normally didn't last this long. Even now, though, he wasn't too bad. He could last a few minutes more. Maybe. Oh sweet Jesus what was he saying? He needed coffee!

Craig bowed his head and rested it on Tweeks. Last night… what happened last night? Something annoying, he was sure. He didn't get headaches in the morning or get up early unless he did something phenomenally stupid the night before. But what? What had he done? He hadn't gotten drunk. Hadn't gotten high. Tweek was here so it was a damn surprise he was even asleep. He was pretty sure he saw a whole shit load of cups on the floor. That's right. He had a fuck load of coffee and couldn't think of anything so he crawled into bed. Then Tweek had said… and he had…

Fuck.

Craig gripped the thin boy closer, feeling his face burn. Well fuck, that was embarrassing. He had fucking cried. In front of mother fucking Tweek! Shit. Shit! Ah fuck… well, it could be worse. Could have been Clyde. Or that fat fuck Cartman. Tweek at least knew better than to say a goddamn thing. He did trust him, after all. The least Craig could do was attempt to trust him too. Maybe. Fuck, why was he getting all teary eyed again?

He buried his face into the blond hair, breathing in. He smelt like coffee grounds. Surprise surprise. Whatever. It calmed him a little bit. He wanted more coffee, now that he thought about it. Fuck, he was hanging around the little spaz too often. He just needed a few minutes to think or go to sleep or something. He just needed… needed to sit here with his face buried against the blankets and the skinny boy and breathe in some coffee fumes and hold him for a while. He'd feel better eventually. This felt nice. This was good. He felt good like this.

"You know if you tell anyone what happened last night I will fucking murder you." Craig mumbled, briefly peeking over the frantic hair toward the wall.  
"Ack! Oh God- I-I- won't tell."  
"Good" Craig mumbled, letting his eyes slip shut "Now shut the hell up."

O///////O

Craig was in a considerably better mood when he woke up the second time. He didn't get up right away, holding the twitchy little blond to his chest. Eventually, though, Tweek's spasms and jerks made him rethink sleeping for another hour and he rolled off him, staring at the ceiling. Just another few moments of peace. That's all he needed.

Much to his surprise, Tweek didn't scurry over him and make a dive for the cold coffee. Instead he scooted closer, trembling a little, until he was half lying on top of him. It was oddly reminiscent of the night before. Craig kind of liked it. Even if he was jittery, Tweek had a kind of pleasant warm to him. It felt nicer than Craig would ever admit out loud, but he wasn't stupid enough to think Tweek wasn't getting the picture. He was more concerned with the face Tweek _wasn't_ drinking coffee. He hadn't done that… ever.

"You're not drinking." Craig stated, idly noting his fucking hand had wormed its way back into Tweek's hair.  
"I-I know."  
"You sick or something?"  
"No." He paused "Urk!"  
"Are we out?"  
"Don't think- nngh – so."

Craig made a noise, sliding the strands between his fingers. That was rather strange, but whatever. He wasn't complaining about this at all. But it was getting late. If his mother came in and saw this she'd be pissed. Not that he cared. Whatever. He really _did_ need some coffee to wake himself up. Left alone like this he could…just sleep here all day. That sounded really nice, actually…

Tweek, though, couldn't last that long. He twitched and shot up suddenly, shooting Craig some sort of look before detangling the hand from his hair and half falling off the bed in his desperate attempt to get a hold of the precious liquid. Craig half smiled, waiting until Tweek's first 'ahh' sounded in the largely empty room before he found the will to sit up. He watched Tweek draining the coffee pot, the temperature of the liquid apparently not affecting its healing powers in the least. Tweek caught him staring and convulsed mildly, turning his gaze down and to the left, right where Stripe used to sleep.

"S-Sorry." Tweek mumbled, taking a giant gulp.  
"Hm?"  
"I… I'm sorry… about- nnghk!- about Stripe."

Craig rubbed his face and eyes, looking where Tweek was looking. It still hurt. It had been a while and he could still fucking weep. He still felt terrible. But he had felt something other than shitty for a little while. Craig realized he should probably be thanking Tweek for that, but why bother? It would just make him look fucking weak or get him sobbing again. He offered the blond a small smile and took a breath, tearing his eyes away from the sacred spot.

"Y-You -ack!- Really loved him, huh?"  
"Yep."  
"Y-You're alright now, though?"  
"Better than I was."  
"Will you- gack!- will you be?"  
"Be what?"  
"Be alright?" Tweek spasmed and looking directly into his empty cup "I don't want you to be depressed and go emo and cut yourself because you're sad it's bad I know it hurts and I can't imagine how it feels but we're friends and I don't really want you to be sad I mean it's not you and it's kind of scary seeing you so out of it I want to help can I do anything oh God what am I saying too much pressure I need coffee can we get some more?"  
"Mhmm."

Tweek watched him for a few moments, holding the mug tightly. He wanted more coffee. But he didn't want to leave Craig. He took a few jerky steps forward, then another back, then a couple more forward again until he was right up close to the bed. He sat. What if something bad happened? What if the gnomes suddenly made a surprise attack? They didn't show up last night. What if someone burst in suddenly? What if he started to sob again? Oh sweet Jesus Tweek couldn't handle this pressure – not when Craig was lifting his head and smiling at him and looking at him and –

Craig placed a careful hand on his shoulder and let it rest there for a minute. He didn't do anything else. Just laid his hand there. He might have tried smiling, but it didn't exactly work so he gave up on that. Tweek could only stare. Then he got up. No words, not explanations, nothing else. He let his hand linger for a moment on the bony shoulder, but then he pulled it away and walked toward the door, opening it. He paused in the archway, glancing back over his shoulder.

"You comin'?"  
"Urk!?"  
"I need coffee now. Come or I'm drinking it all."  
"Oh sweet Jesus!"

Tweek shot up, still clutching the mug. He tore out the door, half running into Craig in the process, spitting a hyper 'Sorry- ack!' over his shoulder as he sped down the stairs. Craig shook his head, meandering after the speedy caffeine addict. Pausing halfway down the stairs, leaning over the banister, listening to Tweek babble to his father about coffee grounds, Craig realized something.

Tweek hadn't twitched when he laid his hand on him.

* * *

**Review if you'd like and have a fantastic day!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Just as a notice : Apparently Chapter 7 hates me, for I have hit a bit of a road block on both this story and Jailbird. It's attributed to my muse and availability to write - in other words college is sucking me dry, so I might put you guys on a bit of hold and update two weeks from now rather than next week as scheduled. I'm so sorry - I adore you all for reading and reviewing and being so awesome and I will try my hardest to find some free time and write the hell out of chapter seven.**

**And, just to put it out there, the Gnomes will be making an appearance sometime within the next two chapters. Before the end of the story, at the very least - don't you fret. It wouldn't be a story with Tweek without the Gnomes, now would it?**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

The weekend had passed quickly. Tweek had stayed with Craig, feeling safer there. The gnomes hadn't caught on yet and he was glad to be away from his parents and their metaphors. Craig parents didn't give a shit either way. Craig was glad. He had someone to talk to and drink excessive amounts of coffee with and forget.

Every night ended up following roughly the same pattern.

They'd stay up to some ridiculous hour and then Craig would crawl to bed. Tweek would follow, next to the bed at first but eventually he'd be up on the mattress too. They would contort their thin bodies into some sort of normally impossible position and wind up comfortable. Craig's hand would find it's way into Tweek's hair and he'd pet it idly while he stared into space and thought. His thoughts would inevitably turn to a sadder post and he'd ether start quietly sobbing or just breathing heavy. Tweek lay there and twitched every once in a while, but otherwise was quiet and sort of content. He even got a few hours of sleep. Tweek didn't mind. Craig seemed to be getting better. He was calmer and didn't act as strange. Maybe it was just because he was getting used to it but Tweek didn't dare object. The gnomes were put at bay and that was all that really mattered. That's and Craig not acting emo anymore. Oh God he couldn't mess this up.

That Monday, Mrs. Tucker just missed the boys tangled in an embrace that would have give anyone the wrong idea when she came to wake them for school. Craig flipped her off and she flipped them both off. Tweek twitched violently and rubbed his face.

"I'm glad you're not pissy anymore." She remarked idly, eyeing the paper and discarded cups on his floor. "Honestly I didn't think you'd ever get over it."  
"Stripe." Craig grumbled, yawning and grabbing his hat "His fuckin' name was Stripe."  
"Whatever. Breakfast and then get to school."  
"Uh."  
"Coffee, Tweek?" She asked sweetly.  
"Gack- Oh God! Y-Yes!"  
"Five minutes then I'm kickin your asses outta here."

Craig continued to watch his mother with aggravated disinterest as she looked around wit the same aggravation. She left before too long, and something odd happened. It wasn't so odd anymore – Tweek had kind of grown used to it over the three days. It still kind of freaked him out but he couldn't complain too much. He could be scared half to death that it would result in some neck-snapping or another horrific consequence, but he wouldn't be so quick to complain just yet. It was strange. Odd. It did scare him but not enough to make him hate it.

It was just that Craig's manner did a complete one-eighty.

The second Mrs. Tucker disappeared and gave a three-minute warning call, Craig turned to Tweek with a _real_ half-smile. It was almost a lopsided grin. Almost. Whatever it was it made Tweek smile back and stop twitching for a few seconds. When he wasn't half smiling he was petting him, which was also really weird but felt kind of nice. When he wasn't petting him he was just resting and holding him, which was also really fucking strange but also felt good.

But that was in private. In public he'd do other strange things, all of them rather odd but kind of nice. Craig would get him coffee by the pound. He'd listen to his ramblings and actually walk beside him instead of far ahead or way behind. He'd check alleyways briefly for burglars. He'd check under the bed for gnomes. He discussed plans to get rid of the underpants gnomes (even though they didn't really amount to anything).

He was a good pal. Strange, Tweek didn't think he ever had one of those before. Not really close, anyway. Not like Stan and Kyle close. This couldn't be the same, but it was… nice. Tweek tried to do the same, but he failed miserably. He wasn't cut out for the 'good friend' thing. Too many things could go wrong. Too much pressure!

Craig, however, didn't seem to mind. He just tried that half-smile thing again and gently guided him out. He offered to get some coffee on the go. He flipped off his family and retrieved breakfast and beverages before his mother could hustle them out the door.

"Are you staying tonight too?" She asked Tweek, just short of slamming the door in their face.  
"Nnkgh!"  
"Yeah, he is."  
"Jesus again? Doesn't he have a home?"  
"We got shit to take care of."  
"Go to school!"  
"I am stop askin' me shit!"  
"Go!"

They flipped each other off and snorted, separating via the door and stomping off. Craig paused, however, turning his gaze back up the steps. He waited for Tweek to stop convulsing too much to move. Tweek joined him after a few minutes, walking behind him at first. Craig voluntarily slowed down, keeping pace with the erratic teen.

Tweek could get used to this side-by-side walking thing.

O///////O

When Craig strolled up to school that morning, Clyde noticed two things. One, Craig wasn't nearly as pissy as he had been on Friday. If that wasn't weird enough, he actually seemed pretty damn near content. Two, Tweek was beside him and they were having an actual conversation. That just threw Clyde for a loop. When had he and Tweek become so damn close, huh? Furthermore, when has Tweek become capable of having conversations without at screaming bloody murder at least once every few minutes? That was just fucked up right there, Clyde decided, that the two of them were chatting happily, side by side.

Clyde glanced at Token, who shrugged and shook his head. Apparently he didn't get it either. Unlike Clyde, however, he didn't care too much, and was too busy checking out the flock of girls heading into the High School. Clyde was focused on the two boys, right up until Craig caught him staring and jovially flipped his other two friends off.

"Hey Craig." Clyde and Token spouted in unison.  
"Sup."  
"Ngnhk!"  
"Hi Tweek" they greeted in tandem again, though they seemed more preoccupied. Tweek turned his head down and busied himself with his coffee  
"What's up with you?" Clyde asked "You smoke something good before school?"  
"Naw. Just awake."  
"Glad you ain't messed up no more." Token muttered idly, trying to sneak a peek at Wendy without her turning around and smacking him  
"Whatever."  
"Do we have English today?"  
"Yeah I think."  
"Aw fuck."  
"You forget homework again Clyde?"  
"Yeah- It's not my damn fault that Mrs. Bitch assigns everything at once-"  
"Maybe if you actually stayed awake-"  
"Shut up!"  
"Don't tell me what to do, asshole!"  
"Don't start, guys. It's still early."  
"You shut the fuck up too."

Tweek whimpered, letting the other three take over the conversation while he busied himself with his reflection in his thermos. Craig had changed back to Craig again, and Clyde seemed to be less than willing to deal with his spasms today. Token, as always, tried to be the mediator, as collected and cool as he was. But this was fine. Tweek knew this. He just took a spot off to the side a little bit and tried to keep out of the way. He couldn't keep up an argument. He'd just start screaming something stupid. He wasn't normally so self-conscious – but he'd been having a good day so far and he didn't want to screw it up by doing something normally stupid.

Clyde, however, seemed determined to bring him hell today.

"Tweek!"  
"Augh!"  
"Don't yell at him he'll piss himself." Token admonished.  
"Sorry. Whatever. Did you do your homework?"  
"Y-Yeah?"  
"Let me borrow it."  
"Ack! What? No! They'll find out I cheated and I'll be expelled and I'll never get into college and then I'll end up on the streets and doing crack and-"  
"You're already a crackpot you'll fit in just fine with the homeless people. Now gimme your homework!"  
"Back off Clyde." Craig suddenly said, stepping in "He's been havin hell all weekend. You got two periods to snag it from Pip."  
"Oh yeah…" Clyde's face seemed to brighten up and he looked around for the British boy.

Craig took that chance to look over his shoulder and smile at the twitchy blond. Tweek caught it, however briefly, and attempted to return it in the least rattled way possible. He looked back at his coffee, drinking as much as he could before he felt the burning in his face.

"You're okay with coming over tonight again, right?" He asked softly.  
"Y-Yeah that's –nngh! – That's fine. Mom and Dad don't care."  
"We'll actually work on a plan tonight, okay?"  
"Oh God urk! Y-Yeah." Tweek glanced over at Token and Clyde, who looked over at them too "A-Are they coming?"  
"Do you want them to?"

Tweek peeked up at him, then at Clyde and Token. The other two were preoccupied while Craig's full attention was on him. He whined and tugged on his shirt, gripping the thermous to his chest. This was too much. At least it was just Craig and not all three of them if it were all three of them oh God he'd break under the pressure there was too much with just Craig and-

"Tweek?"  
"Ngack!"  
"Do you want them to come over too?" He asked again, completely unfazed by the sudden scream.  
"…no."  
"Then no." Again Craig flashed him that little almost smile and started stepping away. "See you at lunch."

Tweek watched him go, drinking heavily. He wouldn't see Craig until lunch. But Butters and Pip would be nearby, and Clyde and Token and Stan and Kyle and he would be just fine. There were other people there. He could last. No one would come for him or something like that. He could last being outside Craig's company for like an hour for the first time in three days. He could do it. He wasn't dependent. Maybe. No, he wasn't.

It was just the coffee and the wind making his face burn like this.

O///////O

"Jesus I thought you guys hated each other" Clyde started up out of nowhere, sitting right beside the twitchy blond.  
"Ack! Clyde! Whar- nngh!- what do you want?"  
"Just talking man." Clyde swung his legs over jailhouse-style benches and dug into his take out bag, pulling out a taco.  
"We don't hate each other" Tweek twitched "I never- augh!- hated him."  
"What about tha huge fight in third grade-"  
"Craig said that was all Stan and those guys!"  
"Well, yeah, but you put each other in the fuckin hospital, man." Clyde inhaled the intoxicating Mexican sent and nearly moaned "That's something. I still got the programs."

Tweek spasmed and shook, drinking his brew. He had… forgotten about that. Kind of. Wow they really had fought bad, hadn't they? But that was behind them now. Craig didn't hate him. No one did – that's what Craig said. Oh God- what if he was lying? He looked around for anyone else, but it was just him and Clyde. He didn't know Clyde that well. Oh Jesus- He only had so many friends he couldn't mess this up! Augh! He took a long drink and peered at Clyde, who was happily eating a taco. He shook violently and whined, looking at the trembling thermos. He hadn't been so stressed in a while-

"So what's up?"  
"Nothing! Arug! I've done nothing!"  
"Jesus man, chill."  
"Ack! I can't! Ack!"

Clyde backed up, protecting his precious Mexican gourmet from Tweek's flailing arms. He shot the spaz a look, cringing a little when Tweek whined. Why he made so much goddamn noise Clyde would never know. Nor he quite understood why he tolerated and why Craig seemed to be getting so used to it as to treat him normal. Fucking weird, it was.

"So what were you doin with Craig this morning?" Clyde asked, his curiosity getting the better of him  
"Nngh! N-Nothing. I just s-slept over last night. Nothing happened!"  
"Alright, alright. Jesus. You seriously need medication."

Tweek made another unsettling noise, but not one so horrid as to take away from the deliciousness that was contained in the final bites of Clyde's taco. Regardless of what Tweek did he could never take away the joy that was the final chomp. Not that he was done. He still had another taco and a burrito to go through, and the first bites were nearly as delectable as the first.

Clyde fished out the rest of his lunch, unwrapping it with upmost care. He shot a few glances at Tweek, who was staring hard enough at his coffee to make it burst into flames. He shrugged and went back to eating. Tweek kept fidgeting, though. Shit where was Craig? The little spaz was looking for him. And he wouldn't stop. Tweek kept moving like he was in a horror movie and gonna get hacked to death. He really needed to calm the fuck down. Why was Craig dealing with him on a daily basis?

Alright so maybe he was a little jealous. But Craig was _his_ friend first. He'd been the one that had been around ever since the beginning. Tweek had been in and out, only recently worming his way back in. He was the throw away pal who came back whenever while Clyde was the steadfast one. Well, him and Token. But Craig had ditched him too. Why was Tweek getting special treatment all of a sudden? Craig had ditched him this weekend to be with the spaz?

But then it dawned on him.

"Dude, don't you _get_ it?" Clyde asked suddenly, looking at Tweek.  
"Get- Urk- get what?"  
"You're a damn replacement." Clyde explained quite simply, taking a bite of his burrito "Craig still misses his stupid little guinea pig. You're just as helpless so he's taking care of you instead. That's why he'd hanging around you so much. Makes sense."  
"His name –ack- was Stripe-"  
"Who cares? Dude, you're just something else for him to take care of. Thanks though. I'd rather have him queer than a little emo pussy."

Tweek twitched violently, tugging his hair. Oh God this was too much! He spasmed violently and looked up, finally spotting Craig and Token ambling toward their table. Clyde made wistful noises, swaying almost euphorically back and forth. When Tweek looked back up Craig and Token had taken their seats, Craig directly across from him. The black-haired boy smiled that half smile at him. Tweek shuddered and looked back down at his brew. Craig was silent for a few moments, but otherwise said nothing to Tweek without being provoked. Like he wasn't even there.

It… it couldn't be true, could it?

* * *

**Drama in the making! Kind of. Is it regular Tweek paranoid or relevant to the plot- We shall see!  
Just to note - I love Clyde. He's just an asshole douche in this case. Means to an end, I say!****  
**  
**Thanks for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I live!**  
**Oh wow it's been a while - I am so sorry to leave you guys hanging. I'm happy to say that the next few updates will PROBABLY be regular ones, as the story is mostly written and life is now going to be a hell of a lot easier now that finals are over on monday. Thanks so much for being patient with me and even leaving me a few reviews or two on my hiatus. I can't thank you enough : D**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"Cr-Craig?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Are… are you happy like this- nnghk!"  
"Yep. Nice and boring. Just the way I like it."

They were sprawled all over Craig's couch, Tweek half on his stomach in what had somehow become their customary position. Craig wasn't sure how or why, but he couldn't imagine this as being all that gay. For all his stoic and stone-faced ways, Craig was actually a pretty big fan of cuddling. Not that he'd just let that get out there. He trusted Tweek for some reason, probably more than he should. He could be this cuddly Craig with Tweek. He could be this relaxed, half happy, cuddly Craig with Tweek.

"W-What's wrong with that –ack!- girl? Oh God she's going to kill him!"  
"She's been brainwashed." Craig explained. "She'll snap out of it. This is like the eighteenth time it's happened. Red Racer always saves her."

Tweek twitched violently and chewed his hand, watching the television intently. Craig watched too, half watching Tweek. He had converted Tweek to Red Racerdom. Success. His hand fisted gently in Tweek's wild hair Craig sighed softly. This was nice. Aside from the plot of the show, all he could think of was that this was… nice. That was it. Just another evening, a rapidly reoccurring pattern that Craig could really, really get used to.

"C-Craig?"  
"Hm?"  
"Why are- urk!- Why are you being so nice to me?"

Craig almost didn't hear him he said it so softly into his coat. He did manage to catch it, though, and he tore his eyes from the screen to look down at Tweek once the commercial started up. Tweek, however didn't look up at him. If anything he was avoiding it. He stared right at the screen, twitching every few nanoseconds. Why _was_ he being so nice to Tweek? They were friends. Shouldn't that be enough of a reason? Sure it was. Maybe. Fuck, he didn't know. It was nice and simple and he _liked_ nice and simple so he wasn't going to change it for shit.

"I dunno." Craig mumbled with a shrug, his eyes on the screen "Gotta problem with it?"  
"K-Kinda…"  
"What?"  
"Nngh!"  
"What the hell?" Craig snapped "You wanna get treated like shit?  
"No! Ack!"  
"Then what's your problem?"  
"I don't want to be used!" Tweek exclaimed, lifting himself up onto his arms so he could look Craig straight in the eye, breathing in so the next sentence came out all in one hurried, nervous breath "I don't want to be used I'm not some kind of toy I shouldn't have to be a replacement you should like me the way I am and I know you miss Stripe but I'm not a guinea pig and I know you missed him and I know you loved him and I don't want you to be emo and slit your wrists oh God no I just want to be your friend but Clyde said you were using me to replace Stripe and I'm not okay with that I don't want to be used I can't fit in a cage or run on a wheel I have high blood pressure I'll die please don't be mad I want to help but I don't want to be a replacement please be alright with this please don't become a faggot pussy emo goth kid and don't use me to replace a fucking pet!"

Craig just stared at him. Tweek, though he valiantly tried to maintain eye contact, started to shake. A minute later he dissolved into a whimpering, quivering mass, his arms going wobbly. He collapsed, his face pressed into Craig's jacket while he composed himself. Craig was left to stew in his state of shock alone for the moment. His bran processed the huge amount of information slowly while Tweek shuddered there on his chest. Once the wheels started turning, shock soon gave way to confusion and some muted sense of anger. Tweek was pissed because he treated him nice. Really nice. The same kind of nice that had been until recently reserved to his pet. That didn't mean anything. He wasn't using him because Stripe was dead; was he? No. Fuck no. He just needed a friend. Tweek was there. He needed some care so Craig provided it. It was that simple. It was just so easy to help Tweek – all he needed was some coffee and a little it of attention and Red Racer. It was just like taking care of Stripe.

Exactly like taking care of Stripe.

Fuck he _totally_ used Tweek.

"I guess." Craig relented, somehow not able to look Tweek in the eye (though he wasn't even sure if Tweek was looking at him anway) "I didn't even realize. I… I'm sorry."

Craig paused, hearing Tweek shift upwards (he still couldn't look at him). That apology left a strange taste in his mouth. It wasn't often he was moved enough to say he was sorry. It was weird to even thing there would be an occasion. He wasn't never really remorseful of his actions. What happened just happened, and since you couldn't change the past- fuck it. This time, however Tweek was involved. He wasn't sure why or exactly how that changed anything, but it did. He might have been getting soft or felt that he owed him or something. Plus, it was already hanging out in the air, and he couldn't take it back, so fuck it.

"Th-That's it?"  
"Huh?"  
"You… That's it. Just 'sorry'?"  
"Well… yeah."

Tweek stared at him, his fingers tapping along the half-empty Styrofoam cup he had somehow got into his hands. Craig finally turned to look at him and seeing his face, flipped him off. What the hell was his problem? Why did he look so pissed? Craig had _apologized_. This was not something that happened every damned day; it was a motherfucking _honor_. He should be smiling or blushing or going back to his spot on his stomach or throwing a ticker-tape parade. He had no right to be pissed. Again Craig flipped him off, his face twisting into a snarl.

Much to his surprise, Tweek (though shaking) glared right back at him.

"M-Maybe I should- nnghk!- go, then."  
"What did you say to me?"  
"You heard me. Urk! I'm going home."

Craig, the stubborn bastard that he was, refused to let him off at first. Tweek had to weave his way between Craig's arms and legs to free himself, all while balancing his precious coffee. He downed the contents and slammed the cup on the table, jerked a little bit at the abrupt motion. He glared, twitched, and then turned and walked away, towards the stairs to get his things from Craig's room.

Now Craig was totally pissed. He stomped up right after Tweek, hustling his scrawny ass into his room. He grumbled at the thin boy throwing insults and curses and middle fingers. Tweek, who proved to be equally as stubborn as Craig, said absolutely nothing, save for his random caffeinated outbursts. Even then, his normally nervous disposition was drawn into a tight frown. This made Craig even angrier, right up to the point where all he could manage to do was sputter and flip him off. He finally got enough sense in him to make the situation work for him. If Tweek was gonna go it was _not_ because Tweek suddenly grew a spine and some balls – it would be because Craig kicked his ass out.

"You wanna go? Fucking fine. No one wants you here." Craig finally said, the sentence falling on deaf ears.

He flipped the twitchy boy off, who frowned and continued to pack his bag. His lack of response made Craig even angrier. He debated throwing a punch. He could take Tweek. Sure as fuck he could snap that skinny bastard's spine. But instead he frowned and turned, ripping open his drawers to make sure none of Tweek's crap was mixing in and infecting his own.

Then he paused.

"All of my underwear is gone."

* * *

**Dun dun DUUUNNNNN**  
**Conflict! It has appeared! Again! What will happen now?**  
**Told you the gnomes would be back. But will this be the last time?**

**Thanks for reading! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Oh yay! Regular update!**  
**Nearing the end guys - prepare thyselves! I can't thank you enough for all the lovely reviews and watches. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

It had taken Craig two hours to get Tweek to calm down to his normal ridiculous level. Immediately after Craig had said that, Tweek lost all resolve and his tough guy demeanor vanished in favor of flinging himself toward Craig's middle and apologizing with everything he had. Unsurprisingly, the second Tweek went back to being Tweek Craig went back to being Craig and as such he became Craig around Tweek – which was all to willing to forgive the nearly sobbing blond. Sure, he had watched in silence for a few minutes (all his underwear was _gone_ how the fuck was he going to explain that in the morning?), but when thought got around to Tweek begging for forgiveness he relented.

"Calm down, wouldja?"  
"Oh God! I'm so sorry! This is all my fault they found you out and now you don't have any and you'll be made fun of or yelled at and if you have gym on Monday you're screwed and everyone will make fun of you and then you'll be sad all over again and Oh sweet Jesus too much pressure! Augh!

And that was the smallest of his outbursts, Craig reflected, drawing his arms around Tweek. He was asleep now, having chattered his head off until it slowed down, his throat and body too exhausted to protest anymore. Craig had gotten him to his feet and over to the bed, where he still tried to apologize and list all the terrible things that could happen. Exhaustion won over, however, and the talking slowed while Craig stroked the tangled hair and nodded. In one last desperate attempt to stay awake, Tweek grabbed the string of his hat and tugged, pulling it off his head. Craig didn't know how to react to that, and before he could think of something, Tweek passed out.

He watched the boy sleep for a while. He was… oddly calm. Next to no twitching. It scared him to the point that he checked for breathing every couple of minutes. Somewhere along the line he got tired too, so he found a spare hat (his head was cold and it was awkward without his hat he felt kind of naked without it) and crawled into bed beside Tweek. The blond seemed full of surprises tonight, and he curled toward the dip Craig was making, actually going so far as to put his arms around him. What was Craig to do but comply?

About two or three hours later, though, Craig woke up. For a minute he thought it was because he was being an insomniac or the coffee was finally overtaking his blood. But then he heard it. Singing. Light singing, but it was still there. It was more chanting, but whoever it was they needed to stop sucking helium and being so damned happy this early in the morning. Craig tried to ignore it at first, but after five minutes of chipmunk speak he couldn't stand it, no matter how comfortable he was or how much he wanted to stay like this and watch Tweek sleep.

Oh-kay. That was kind of creepy.

Craig sat up, eyes bleary and fit to be rubbed, his brain still jumbled up and kind of slow. The singing halted and he heard a thump, followed by profuse cursing. He lowered the hand that was rubbing his eyes and peeked over the bed where the squeaky voice was spewing curse words.

He couldn't fucking believe it.

On its back, little legs kicking in the air, pipe snapped in half next to its head, was a gnome. A fucking gnome. Craig couldn't believe it. What the fuck. What the _fuck_? Alright he kind of believed they existed after he was robbed of his boxers the other night at Tweek's place but _seriously_? An honest to God mother fucking gnome? This was some serious shit he couldn't even believe.

Craig, out of reflex more than anything, flipped the squirming creature off. After a few moments of finger-showing, the gnome stopped and looked up. It blinked twice and stood, gathering up his pipe with another curse and straightened its hat. It flipped Craig off right back, right up until Craig began to sway out of sleep depravation, and caught the light from his window.

"Oh Jesus!" The supposed Boss Gnome (he was the biggest so that made him boss, Craig figured) squeaked "Oh sweet Jesus!"  
"What." Craig blinked, still bleary, scratching his hat. Llama wool was itchy. Why did he still have this stupid Peruvian hat?  
"Oh my God- you're the Incan Prophesy Kid- the Protector!"  
"Oh crap not this again."

The gnomes lifted their heads and collectively gasped, a murmured rippling through them. Craig flipped them off lazily. He didn't want to play this right now. He wanted to sleep. It was three fucking thirty in the morning. Jesus how did Tweek do this? He looked toward the blissfully sleeping paranoid boy, then back to the gnomes, who recoiled. Alright. Now how to get them out and go back to sleep for the next three days?

"I'm not gonna hurt you." Craig mumbled blandly, one of his eyes closing on its own accord.  
"Don't kill us!" they cried anyway "We're just trying to make a profit!"  
"I don't ca- profit?" Craig blinked "How the hell does this make profit?"  
"Step one: Underpants!" they chorused.  
"Shut up I really don't care."

The little things recoiled and gasped, hiding under undergarments and furniture. Craig yawned. Jesus Christ this was fucking stupid. How did Stan and those guys deal with magical shit on a daily basis and still stay sane? There had to be something wrong with those guys – he was starting to feel like he was losing his mind just being in the same room with these things.

"Hey… didn't you come to see our factory?" The Boss Gnome asked, stepping forward.  
"No."  
"Yeah- we told you about business and cooperation's. And you had that fat pussy friend. And we killed that other guy in the orange."  
"No. That was not me."  
"Yes it was. You used to have a blue hat with a red poof and trim, though."  
"That wasn't me. That was Stan and those guys."  
"Not you?"  
"No."  
"Oh. Whatever. I hated those pussies, anyway."  
"I hate them too."  
"Ah."  
"Yep."  
"Do you have any more underwear?"  
"No. Please stop taking it."  
"But-"  
"No buts. I'm sick of hearing Tweek talk about you guys. You're killing him. I just got him down to sleep and if you wake him up I'll… shoot blue sparks out of my eyes and kill you all."  
"Oh shit! Don't do that!"  
"Then leave." Craig yawned "And don't come back"  
"Okay! Okay… we'll go… just- just don't do anything rash now. We're going, see?"

And they all backed up, their tiny hands held high above their heads. They put all the underwear down and backed out of the room until only the Boss Gnome was left. Craig flipped it off. The Boss Gnome flipped him off, too.

"Goodnight, pussies."  
"Night."

And then the Boss Gnome was gone. Craig looked at the clock. Three forty-five AM. Fifteen minutes and the problem was gone for good. Not bad for someone with no experience. He looked at Tweek, sleeping soundly in his bed, his arm draped over Craig's hips. If he wasn't so tired Craig would have smiled. Instead he fell back, making a muted thump against the pillows, and fell asleep.

* * *

**Yes, yes. I know. A bit of a let down after all the OMG GNOMES nonsense. But here's the thing: Do you really expect _Craig Tucker_ to engage in an all out battle to the death over underpants? Fuck no. He'll just go to Walmart and get a few new packs and an assload of rat poison. Big show-stopping confrontations are not Craig _MOTHAFUCKIN_ Tucker's forte. I hope you understand.**

**If not; hopefully the next chapter will make up for it :D **

**Thanks for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

**And here I bring you the final two chapters. I was going to separate them, just to make it an even 10 chapters, but the last bit is only a short snippet and I didn't feel it warranted an entire chapter to itself. It's more of an epilogue, really. **

**Be that as it may, this is still fairly short - perhaps because I've edited out the naughty that is implied, because I have the crippling fear that FFN will yell at/ban me. I'll link to it within the next week if anyone is still interested by then.**

**Thank you everyone who has read / will read and doubly so if you've commented. You are all fantastic :D**

**Enjoy! **

* * *

Craig and Tweek had slept soundly for the majority of the next morning and afternoon, much to the chagrin of his mother. Twice she slammed on the door to get them up, but it was useless. After the second time and some flipping off of the wood plank that was giving her so much trouble, she gave up and stormed off. Craig, in what had become normal for him, only bothered to consider waking up once his mother stomped off the creaky bottom step.

He was still tired. Very much so. Despite spending a decent amount of time with Tweek- the poster child for paranoia-induced insomnia- Crag was still not used to recovering from excessively late nights. Force of habit, however, forced his lazy ass up into a sitting position, where he proceeded to stare at the wall until Tweek joined him in the waking world.

The blond made a special show about it – his breath hitching, stopping, then his hole body convulsing until he rocketed into a sitting position, shrieking and grabbing his chest. He almost head butted Craig in the jaw, but aside from lazily flipping Tweek off he didn't react. Tweek rubbed his eyes and twitched again.

"What's wrong with your hat?"  
"You have my normal one."  
"I do?"  
"Yes."  
"Ack! Oh God! Sorry!"

Tweek hurriedly shoved the article of clothing over the one already occupying Craig's head. Said male shook his head, adjusting his headwear so the correct hat was on properly and the replacement hung on his bedpost. Tweek stared at him, left eye twitching every few moments. While Craig was fine with awkward or prolonged silences, he knew Tweek was not, and soon he would start screaming –or worse- apologizing to him all over again. So he broke the silence.

"So."  
"Ack! Nhhgeh!"  
"Dude. Chill."  
"I'm sorry."  
"Don't be."  
"But the gnomes! They stole all of your-"  
"Don't worry about it." Craig said, waving his hand in dismissal. "I took care of them. "  
"…WHAT?"

Tweek spasmed particularly hard, convulsing on his bed. Craig watched with morbid fascination while Tweek seemed to develop a horrendous cramp, his back twisting painfully as he flopped his skinny self around on his bed. The boy went so far as to bend his neck at a painful angle and start pulling at his hair, making Tweek noises while Craig simply watched. Once Craig got tired of the spaz attack, however, he forcibly righted the boy and fisted his hand in the tangled hair until he calmed down. It took longer than he would have liked, but Tweek gathered his thoughts and took a shaky breath.

"When was this!" He blurted, the momentary calm gone already.  
"After you passed out."  
"Nnngh! What did you do?"  
"I told them to fuck off. So they left." Craig explained, shrugging his shoulders a little at Tweek's incredulous expression.  
"They-They're all gone?"  
"Yep."  
"Forever?"  
"Sure."

Tweek kissed him. He launched into Craig's lap and kissed him. Right on the mouth. Bony arms thrown around his neck and everything. He even stopped twitching for a few minutes. Craig blinked, more confused than anything, his thoughts settling on the awkward way Tweek was positioned on his lap and the slight ache in his lip where Tweek all but rammed into him.

Moments later, it was gone. Tweek stared at him, stock still, propped up on his hands and knees. Craig blinked in turn, which somehow set of Tweek's panic sensors. He recoiled fast, falling off the bed and landing flat on his ass, holding his hands up over his mouth. Wide, panicked eyes stared up at him, the left one twitching badly. Craig, though his face was the usual blank slate, crawled forward a few paces. Tweek scrambled back, but Craig just followed him, slinking off his bed and backing him up until the shaky blond was trapped between his desk and the empty corner where Stripe used to sleep. Half hovering over the trembling body, he reached out and gathered up the skinny mass and drew Tweek back into his lap.

"Oh Jesus-"  
"Shh."  
"Oh God what did I-" Kiss. "What did I do I didn't mean to-" Kiss. "Augh oh my God what-" Kiss. "You… aren't stopping." Kiss. "Why aren't… you…?" Kiss. "…You…?"  
"Dude, chill."  
"Nnnghk! But- But!"  
"Shh."  
"Ack!"  
"Relax."

Craig kissed Tweek correctly this time, holding his mouth there, blocking off the possible tirades. Tweek whimpered and squirmed and twitched, but that was hardly abnormal. He was making no move to push Craig away, so he kept it up. He stroked the blonds' spine, trying to get him to loosen up a little. Surprisingly, it actually worked. The living combination of skin, bones, and coffee actually relaxed and went as limp as his bony, panicky self could. It was only when Craig unconsciously tried slipping him a bit of tongue that Tweek began to freak out and nearly punched him in the face.

"Ack! Guh! Nghk!"  
"Bad?" Craig breathed, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.  
"Uh… I… Uhm-urk!"  
"Good?"  
"Auuhgh…"  
"Can you speak in full sentences?"  
"That was my first kiss."

This, Craig did not quite know how to react to. He wasn't sure how to react of any of this shit, actually. He tried kissing him again, and that made Tweek relax the slightest bit. Craig considered this as good, an improvement. He wrapped his arms around the thinner boy and drew him into his lap. Tweek, much to both their surprise, moaned a little bit and kind of fell into him. Again Craig didn't know how to react, and this bothered him. He couldn't remain composed if he didn't know what to do. So he let instincts take over, if only for a moment. He could let his body decide for now, and then he could think about what was going on.

His mind latched on to what he had said to Tweek, and what had happened last night. Craig almost felt bad that he might have been lying to Tweek. He had no idea if that was it. Hell, the gnomes could be plotting to take over the world right now by stripping everyone of their undergarments. Tweek could be targeted _right now_ and neither one of them would know for sure.

The thing Craig realized, however, was that he really didn't fucking care.

What Craig was focused on now was the blond mess in his lap, squirming and shyly kissing him back. He only really cared about the bony mass rolling his hips and being so damned good at something Craig was sure he wasn't supposed to be good at. His concern was in Tweek as he was now; straddling him, pressing against him and most importantly all too happy to be there. All his focus was on the coffee-and-morning breath flavored mouth Tweek was letting him explore and the trembling hands doing some exploring of their own.

Craig broke the kiss with a soft chuckle, feeling his hat slip off his head. Somehow he had ended up half on his back, propped up one elbow with his other arm lifted, his hand in Tweek's hair. His legs were spread one flat on the ground, the other bent at the knee. Tweek was half lying on him and the floor between them, one of his trembling hands on Craig's knee and the other one holding him up. Craig was smirking, watching Tweek while he shook and stared, wide eyed as a frightened deer.

"Good?" Craig tried again, petting the other male to soothe him  
"Mmgh." He chewed his lip, looking everywhere but at Craig's face.  
"You're all red."  
"Urk!"  
"It's cute."  
"Ack! Oh Jesus!"  
"C'mere."

He tugged Tweek down again, pulling a muted shriek and another kiss from the skinny boy. There was just something about the way he squirmed, the way he shuddered and gave into it that made Craig just give in too. He couldn't remember feeling this relaxed for a while, though for some reason he couldn't remember why that was so at the moment (his mind was too focused on the tongue lapping at his lower lip), but then it dawned on him. Stripe had passed, and Tweek was his replacement. He had been using Tweek this whole time to give him that same feeling of comfort that he thought he had lost forever, and it was working out a lot better than he'd ever expected. He regained the comfort and the monotony and something soft and furry to pet, and something else, something more.

He was sure that he never felt like _this_ toward Stripe.

Craig sighed against Tweek's mouth, pulling the other male completely on top of him. Tweek shivered, gripping the carpeting between Craig's head and his hat. A smirk curled at his lips and Craig nipped, finding some special thrill in the way Tweek was arching against him. This feeling – Craig wanted more of it. Tweek seemed spooked by the prospect, breaking the contact to whine and twitch. They spent a moment in silence, their panting and Tweek's noises (though now they sounded much softer) breaking it up. He glanced at the bed a few feet away, his gaze flickering barely flickering there and back. Craig nearly missed it, but the when Tweek gulped and did it again, he felt the smile etch onto his face before he could even think to stop it.

"Oh, we're not gonna make it all the way over here." Craig stated blandly, lazily flipping the blond boy over, pinning him to the floor "Here's more than fine for what we're gonna do."

The squeak Tweek let escape and the moan that followed it, Craig decided, were the sexiest things he'd ever heard.

O/O

"GET UP!" screamed Craig's mother, pounding in vain on the door "I don't care if you go to school but you're not staying here all day! I got shit to do!"

Craig stirred, languidly wrapping his arms around tighter the quivering Tweek. He still twitched and made little noises, but they were far fewer than the days previous. It seemed somewhat storybook, the way things had turned out. He'd been saved from a pressing sadness and in turn he had saved Tweek from a pressing paranoia. They worked well together. They were good friends – if not a little something more now. But Craig was too caught up in this new pattern, in this new monotony to ever want it to end. He supposed that made them 'something more'. Or not. He wasn't sure. He didn't care. A long as he got to do this he'd be just fine. Tweek wasn't complaining so he simply assumed the same went for the calmer blond.

The only thing he had left to think about was how to pursue this… relationship, if it could be called that. And who would be the princess.

Tweek. Definitely Tweek.

"Open the damn door!"

Craig flipped the voice off, burying his face in soft, coffee scented locks, and falling back asleep.

* * *

**That's all she wrote!**

**Thank you again to everyone who read, watched, favorited, commented, or did anything else. I can't say how much all the encouragement means. Be sure that I will be haunting the SP fandom with oneshots and chaptered stories should I get a good enough idea. **

**Thanks again- May the Underpants Gnomes lead you to bountiful profit!**


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